


Take the Pain that We Feel and Call It Hope

by nogrey



Series: I watch young justice and overthink the concept of child heroes [2]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 17:07:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20029324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nogrey/pseuds/nogrey
Summary: Brion considers the ethics of child heroes





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from In Another Now by While She Sleeps

Brion had never really taken the time to consider the ethics of child heroes. He’d idolised Batman since he was a child and when Robin first appeared he’d seen himself reflected in the young hero; his age wasn’t going to be a barrier to making a difference in the world. Sure, Brion had expected his own differences to be made via work as a member of the Markovian royal family rather than a superhero himself, but working with the Outsiders enabled him to see instant, direct results. Rather than a minute decrease in the prevalence of whatever issue his parents had been trying to fix for their people, he could be right there whilst a life was saved or an evil plot was foiled. 

Yet, the fear in the eyes of his teammates families made him think. It would be so easy to dismiss them simply as overbearing adults, unable to fathom the good work that their children were capable of doing. He could just pretend that they hadn’t quite grasped that the Outsiders weren’t ordinary kids, instead they were demigods and speedsters and teleporters. They didn’t need protection. But he couldn’t help wondering what his own parents would think, if only they had been alive. 

Gregor was all alone in Markovia, holding the country together all by himself in a time of great turmoil. Brion himself and Tara were metas and superheroes, throwing themselves into danger without a second thought. They’d been lucky so far- the entire team, not just his family. There had been no deaths, no major injuries. Every wound had healed up well enough. However, there was always that what if lingering in the back of his mind. What if that hit had been just a bit harder? What if that cut had been just a bit deeper? What if one day Cassie wasn’t strong enough, Bart wasn’t fast enough, Eduardo wasn’t quick enough? Brion’s mind constantly flashed back to Infinity Island, to being locked in a cold, dark cell clinging to Violet’s bloody corpse that remained still in his arms. What if it had been someone else? What if one day she couldn’t heal? What if, what if, what if? 

He wished he could pretend that the first generation of child heroes had made it to adulthood unscathed. If he just pretended he hadn’t seen the tremble of their hands when they told him about the original Kid Flash, how he’d literally ran himself out of existence to save the world. If he just pretended that he had never thought to ask about what happened to the second Robin upon hearing about the third and saw the way they all froze. If he just pretended that he hadn’t found the rows of memorial holograms on the Watchtower and found himself staring up at Aquagirl, immortalised as the teenager she had been when she died. 

Because one day, that could be them. And dying wasn’t even the end of it. He’d seen the scars that riddled Grayson’s torso. He’d gotten injured on patrol before he came to train the new kids and Brion had watched in fascination as Artemis stitched him up without any anaesthetic. Grayson had never seemed so human as when his most grievous of injuries and closest brushes with death had been displayed so clearly on his skin. 

He’d felt it when M’gann came across something that reminded her a little too much of everything that she’d been through. Once, early on in his residence in her home, she’d forgotten to reel in her telepathy; her desperation, pain and longing had crashed down onto Brion and he’d found himself shaking, struggling to breath through the gaping hole in his chest. Conner had sat with him for a long time, talking him through exercises to calm him back down. He pretended that he didn’t see the way the clone’s own posture slowly relaxed, didn’t feel the way a terrible anger that didn’t belong to Megan quietly retreated from his mind. 

Once, upon visiting Violet and his sister he came across Artemis. She stood motionless in the hallway, her gaze fixed unwaveringly on a photo of her and Wally West that hung on the wall. It was the first time he’d seen her facade crack, a dreadful sorrow overwhelming her features. She took exceptional care to only show the side of her that included the cold, dangerous Tigress or the casual big sister figure. He’d never seen her look so broken. 

Brion feared the one day that would be him. One day he’d be the one with phantom pain from old injuries, his friends and family only existing as painful phantoms. He’d never admit that since he began this journey, as much as he believed in the power of the Outsiders and the importance of positive meta role models, he’d spent hours each night staring up at the ceiling. His thoughts could never calm down, a constant riot in his skull screaming at him that they were going to lose everything if they carried on. His hands still felt sticky from Violet’s blood, murdered by his own incompetence and impatience. 

Is this what being a hero was? The real challenge wasn’t the fighting, the injuries or the constant mental challenge to keep one step ahead of the enemy. No one knew until they’d taken up the mantle the cost of their decision. Being a hero was living with this fear, knowing that you and everyone around you could die anyway, that a weight heavier than you could imagine rested on your shoulders and somehow pushing through it for the sake of protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves. 

He and every other member of their team had made this decision for themselves. God, he hoped that they wouldn’t regret it. It was clear that they could never back out, try to live normal lives. This was their purpose now.


	2. Playlist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some songs that helped inspire me a bit

In Another Now- While She Sleeps  
Just Exist- Touche Amore  
Speaking With A Ghost- Citizen  
Misery- The Comfort  
The Ghosts of Right Now- The Wonder Years  
Protection- Movements  
Death Cup- Mom Jeans.  
Dead Boys- Sam Fender  
Paradise- The Neighbourhood  
I Can Make You Feel Young Again- Copeland


End file.
